I’m struggling to sleep at the moment, it’s probably due to the fact that I’ve spent most of the last 5 days in bed sleeping due to being diseased.
Or it might be because I’m lying in bed thinking and crying about all the relationships, and friendships that have gone tits up over the last few years. People grow apart, it’s natural, but not all relationships end like that and today I’ve been thinking about a few that have ended badly. As we all know, I’m hard on myself so I blame myself for the loss I feel.
I’m not going to go into the whole who was in the right/wrong or whatever. The point is I feel like I drive people away and make them hate me a blah blah blah, yada yada yada, moan moan moan.
I don’t need to tell you the shitty thoughts I feel about myself, instead I’m going to tell myself, through the medium of blogging, that I, Helen, am pretty darn loveable.
This must be an actual fact, because I have some truly incredible people in my life.
There are people in my life who refuse to give up on me, they love me and support me and choose to spend time with. I have people who have chosen to keep me in life in pretty big ways, godmother, mentor, girlfriend, things like that. Heck I’m loved by so many people that there must be something about me that makes them love me, that makes them stick around.
So todays character trait is that I am loveable.
It’s pretty hard for me to believe today, doesn’t mean it isn’t true. So man up Helen, get over your self-pity and recognise that you are loved for a reason, because only your mum and dad have to love you everyone else it’s choice.