“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name”
A few weeks ago I was at Spring Harvest hanging out with a couple hundred teenagers and a cracking team of youth workers. The theme was “Immeasurably More” taken from a passage in the Bible (Ephesians 3v14-21.)
The passage starts with the above line.
I’m pro-Jesus, as you should know, I believe in a God that loves us and created us, a God that made humankind in his image and according to this verse that includes families. Whatever they look like.
Anyway the reason I am talking about this Jesus stuff is because families are messy, they are varied and chaotic and wonderful and awful and caring and brutal and supportive and belittling and many other adjectives, at east I think they are adjectives. Right focus Sare. So family. Frankly mine is not great. Don’t get me wrong I have the most incredible parents, and the younger siblings are pretty great (I’m looking at you 4,) but there is a lot to be desired in my relationship with the elder siblings. (Sometimes I’m grateful that my family is so big that you don’t really miss the odd sibling)
I hate the way my relationship is with the olders. I also hate that there is sod all that I can do about it. I hate how much it hurts, how much it hurts me, my parents, my siblings, my friends and others. I hate that it doesn’t seem to impact them in the slightest, they are merrily getting on with their lives, which don’t include me. So my question with that verse is how the heck is my messy family relationships “derive” from God?
My buddy has an interesting family, they try and they care, but aren’t always reliable. She now has her own beautiful children and “family” that she has built around her, her children’s “aunts” and “uncles” aren’t blood relatives but that doesn’t matter. She has a sign in her house that says “Friends are God’s way of making up for our families.” And dude I am so behind that. She has a family that isn’t typical but it is wonderful, and I love being part of it.
Going to be honest, and you might have already guessed it, but I don’t really know where I am going with this. I guess my thought is that God inspires and is the creator of beautiful and loving things. He is truth and all that stuff. And well family comes from Him, to be in a relationship with someone where they mean more to you than yourself, where you love them unconditionally. I guess I’m saying that, as my baby sister S said, “Blood isn’t thicker than water. We get to choose our own family.” I really do think that, because that family that we have chosen, or that has chosen us, is of God too. Which I find a comforting thought.
It really hurts when I think of my situation, it hurts more when I think of those whose families are even more broken than mine. It makes me grateful and humbled that I get to be a part of so many other families.
The thing that is so important about that last bit?
The important thing.
It means that I can stop beating myself up over the complexities of my relationship with the older ones. ‘Cause for a very long time I blamed myself, I thought it must be something wrong with me if they chose to walk away, to let things become the way they have. It must be my fault because I’m insert mean words here. But if that’s true, if I’m to blame, then how come I’m Auntie Helen to some incredible children? How come I’m a sister to so many of my friends? How come I have so many extra parent? Either they are incredibly patient, which in the case of my long suffering boyfriend is VERY true, or I’m kinda loveable and not a totally heinous individual who drives away all people for I am unworthy of love. (I most definitely thought that at one or more times in my life.)
All in all I’m a very lucky girl ’cause my family loves me, mental quirks, over-sharing, oddities and all. And my family “derives it’s name” from God, which is pretty cool.
So cheers for making me part of the fam guys! I now leave you with this little gem!